In a recent post, I asked about reflections on leadership and advocacy. A recent conversation reminded me of this trope commonly referred to as “But for me, it was Tuesday.” (https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ButForMeItWasTuesday)
With the video of the prime reference:
This week (or so) two very successful game companies laid off an average of 10% of their workforce combined. (11% for Riot and 8% for Microsoft Gaming via Xbox & Activision Blizzard). Thousands of hard-working people let go, despite the companies making a profit, because the company wasn’t making enough money. This could be an example of their Tuesday. For the leaders who decided to pull that trigger, it’s just another Tuesday. For the employees affected, it might be a day that crushes their dreams of working in that industry that creates products that bring joy to people’s lives.
We each have experiences like this, on both sides of the equation. I know that I have been wowed and overwhelmed by an experience that becomes like a “core memory” while the person responsible for that experience was just doing their thing. On the flip side, others have come up to me to thank me for the impact I’ve had on their lives for just being me.
What does all this have to do with advocate leadership?
This is where self-awareness can make all the difference. In your reflections, the core question is “Who are you as an advocate leader?” This goes beyond just your identity. The question demands the follow-up of “What do you want your impact to be?” You will impact the world around you and in ways that you can’t even imagine. Simple acts, coming from your authentic self, can make all the difference in someone else’s life. Did that one conversation over coffee change someone’s outlook on a topic you’re passionate about? Do you feel gratitude towards those simple moments in your life? They may not be so simple for the person you’re interacting with.
So how do I ensure that my Tuesday doesn’t crush someone else?
All that self-reflection is intended to produce a change in behavior, or at least an awareness of it. Are you punching down? Tearing others down? Or building others up and supporting their dreams to be better on their own path? Help people. If you don’t know how to help, ask. If they are not in a condition to be able to communicate their needs, do not assume. Educate yourself on their situation, and work with experts in the field to empower and improve their lives. You may find that your default solution to someone else’s problem is the opposite of what they need.
Who should I be helping?
In a future post (likely in the next couple weeks), I’ll review power dynamics and scratch the surface of the nuance that goes into power dynamics to help clarify the response to that question. For now, the simple answer is those who ask for it. If they can’t ask, then look for who is being taken advantage of.
- In the workplace, it is usually the individual contributor or the new person. The company and the senior members of the team have all the resources and all the power over the individual’s livelihood and how they are accepted in the workplace community.
- Out in the world, it might be the awkward kid in your class, or the youngest or “outcast” in the family. Speaking out against your homophobic matriarch over family dinner might be just the thing your still-in-the-closet queer cousin needs to hear to get them out of a dark place.
How am I supposed to analyze every action of every day worrying about the impact on those around me?
You can’t. It’s not possible. You will make mistakes. You are already the villain in someone else’s story. And you can work towards being a better person over time. What do you value? Live authentically to those values. When someone says “ouch,” accept your part in causing that hurt and do what you can to make it right. We can’t solve every problem, but we can solve the problems in front of us.
Do you have any “Tuesday” stories to share from either perspective? We’d love to hear about your experiences. Share your stories in the comments below, or join our vibrant community on Discord for more in-depth conversations with like-minded individuals. Your insights are valuable, and your experiences can inspire others. Let’s connect and learn from each other.